Scan! Week 19! The ..what ifs....

We saw the babinos again this week!

They looked ALOT larger than 7 weeks ago, how amazing that in just weeks we can develop so much of a little human!

I was tres nervous before this test. At this one alot of problems can be detected and I know 3 couples who have had terrible experiences at this scan. I have been abusing my body for months and have been stressing about dehydrating them into little shrivelled prunes.

Bug holds my hand the whole time and what starts off tight with stress soon relaxes as the first one - twin A measures up perfectly!!! 'A' was very still at the last scan, but here 'it' is moving around, flexing elbows, opening and closing little hands...everything looks good with twin A..then twin B. Twin B is ever so slightly smaller than A but still measured up very well for twins at 19 weeks and everything looks great. in fact the doctor is so fine about the outcome of the scan that he does not even want to see us!

(BTW we want the sexes to be a suprise! nah nah!)

The relief is immense. Being in the room and seeing them again makes us think even more how dreadful it must of been to be told that something may be wrong. One of my best friends has had this happen with and had to undergo blood tests, whether to decide on an anmio test (they didn't) and then sit it out and wait until her baby was born.

Their baby was perfect by the way. The most beautiful baby girl ever produced - honestly she is already a stunner like her mum and absolutely gorge.

Bug asks me what we would done if one or both was downs or worse...I cannot honestly say, nor can he. I do not think anyone can until they are in that situation. I was suprised to read a UK report on down's only last week that stated 90% of women diagnosed with a downs pregnancy have a termination. I was very suprised and would of expected the figure to be 50%.

I have a cousin with learning difficulties. She has Williams syndrome and is 25 but very tiny and lovely. She has had a totally normal upbringing, treated and loved the same as her brothers and sisters. She went to 'normal' school for years (but cannot read or write), she is the most socialable person that I know and can talk to anyone. Our entire family love Mo to bits and she makes us laugh with things she gets up to.

I guess my point is that I find it hard to imagine that any parent could love a 'special' child less than a normal one. It makes me think about when I found out I was having twins and I was worried that I would love them unequally. It took me weeks to get to a point where I knew that I love them the same.

People that have a sad diagnosis often have to make a very fast desicion and do not have months to think about it and change their minds.

I also know that good health does not stop at birth! We will have years and years making sure they are well physically and mentally. (and each other!)

Belly!

My belly is showing, I am over 18 weeks now!!! Look at that POP! :-) :-). I am apparently carrying two 'bell peppers' hmm..my US preg book compares everything to food which is not only stupid (spanish onion next week yum!) but only 2 weeks ago that food sentence would of make me vomit.

Do you like my sink? Check out the brown walls. Must post about brown walls soon.

Difference between HG and MS

I had never heard of HG before I was pregnant and there is not a lot out there about it. If more people knew about it then less Hgers would be crackered/ fired/ seen as weak people not coping with morning sickness.

HG is NOT even bad morning sickness. It is a serious illness that you can only get from being pregnant. Without medical intervention, severe, intractable cases are gravely dangerous for the mother and her babies.

"G is a debilitating and potentially life-threatening pregnancy disease marked by rapid weight loss, malnutrition, and dehydration due to unrelenting nausea and/or vomiting with potential adverse consequences for the newborn(s)." HelpHER website.

With out medical help women can (but rarely do) die today from HG. Until the 1940s when IV and aggressive treatment started severe HG women died. Charlotte Bronte died from HG (http://www.trivia-library.com/c/final-days-of-english-author-charlotte-bronte.htm) and I think it was the reason that Nicole Kidman looked unpregnant her entire pregnancy. Alot of HG women have terminations as they are dangerously ill/ have no support.

I cannot explain the effects of nausea but interestingly Bug once overate melon as a child and it made him sick. He still cannot eat melon and I know of other similar stories. I find it interesting that foods have probably caused him and others many problems but the story involving nausea and vomiting is very strong in their memory and still causes aversion and dread years later. Bug is the most fearless man I know but i can chase him around the house screaming if I have a melon.

Alex in Clockwork Orange gets re-programmed with a N+V reaction to bad thoughts and is for a while 'cured'. I have always thought that the film was interesting, but his 'cure' implausible. Now I see it as a genuine idea that is explored as a concept through the film medium. (That sounds really wanky)

I try to explain HG as having bad flu for months, the kind where you cannot eat or move your head. Others compare it to severe food poisioning. I have had a nasty case of norovirus before after falling in to the Thames with my mouth open (out my scull) and HG is MUCH worse.

Anyway, for a good comparison to MS and HG this is from the hyperemesis web site.

http://www.hyperemesis.org/mothers/hyperemesis-or-morning-sickness/index.php

This page is also good to check for symptoms.

http://www.hyperemesis.org/hyperemesis-gravidarum/diagnosis/signs-symptoms.php

Concrete Factory is on strike (don't read if you think I am a lady!)

I want to be honest and this is all lifted from my diary.

Some people love poo chat and other people would not entertain it! But I never knew what constipation really was. I thought you just had to squeeze quite hard and never had the runs, again, something else to sympathise to in the future!

Zofran is brill and I have been eating a decent diet now for a few days. However, something I have not done for a very long time is a NUMBER 2.

It makes sense that if I am eating I may need the loo right? Pregnancy does make you constipated, your body takes water for other things and so the bowels get a lot less water, also food is held in the digestive tract for longer. Zofran is notoriously bad for giving you serious constipation. 1+1 = bad ass!

Here is my diary for Monday ' spent 2 hours trying to poo...OMG...TRAUMA! MASSIVE!! My body went into it's own poo labour and I had contractions to get it out...Horrendously painful'

2 hours was NOTHING!!! the following Sunday - 6 days later I knew I needed another one!

This one took 5 hours from start to finish! I am still shaking as I write.

I went off zofran late yesterday as I know that nothing will happen while i am on it - so i start being sick again as soon as it wears off.

Diary: 'I am in agony and sweating, being sick, my body has taken over and is pushing away but it will not budge. The pain...is there a danger of a misscarrige? This is so aggressive!'.

I run a warm bath and get in. It does help ease the abdominal pain and calms my back exit. BUG, is on a life saving mission for me. He drives to the pharmacy and they sell him stool softeners and glycerin suppositories. EEEK

I have NEVER used one of these, or put my finger there and have to google what to do. The chat rooms give me a piece of mind as most are pregnant women and this is just part of the 'getting to know my body journey of everything'

Anyway, FForward to 2 baths later, 3 suppositories, one sleep and then the final pushes! I give birth to a beautiful, record breaking.....I emerge from the basement a lot lighter and very relieved. Thanks to Bug on this one or I never would coped! He has seen so much of me over the last few months that a birth will be just the next step!

Snow!

Good week!

Sunday started in Banff still. I dropped Bug off around the back of Banff's Sulphur Mountain. There is an old access road to the top of the mountain that you can join if you follow the Bow river along the Sundance Canyon route and turn off. I dropped him off at the Cave and basin venue and he started the 8.5 k walk with 8k of ascending. Not many tourists walk this route as they all go up the front of the mountain that has a million switchbacks and is under tree cover so you cannot see any views.

OR like me they pay $30 to get an 8 minute cable car haha! I would LOVE to be hiking up but I still have to be careful. Yesterday's flat 6ker pooped me out.

However. I get to the top and the view is spectacular. Banff is snowy but up here there is about 5 inches of dry, powdery snow. I love winter in Canada and the Rockies have excellent dry snow. I just want to walk so I start striding down the access road to meet Bug. It is -12 but crispy and I have a million layers on plus my ski kit!

Striding down the mountain is FUN. It is like being on the moon, you are so cushioned by the snow that you cannot get too fast and out of control. It is totally silent and all I can hear is my feet crunching in the snow. After a while I meet Bug and we hike back up to the top...this is harder and takes a lot longer. All I can hear on the way up is my breathing.

Wish that we could live in Banff or Canmore but driving to Calgary on H1 in winter is not enjoyable. It is still an hours drive which is acceptable for train or bike commutes in our London lives but out here a 10 minute commute is a lot less stressful.

Cramps!

Damn it!

I was supposed to go to meet a new friend. She is a colleague of Bug's and has a little daughter. We were going to meet for a tea over her side of town and I have been looking forwards to this ever since she suggested it.

I have not made many friends yet in this town as I have been house bound for ages. I get into a cab to meet her and guess what? CRAMPS! suddenly!!! I am goign to puke too! ahh I can't meet her no way! I ask the driver to take me home again and start bawling with pain lying in the back of his cab!

Poor guy, he panics a bit while doing his U turn so I squeak out 'pregnant'. Ahhh bless him he is so sweet and he said his wife was not well in her pregnancy and we will get home really fast no worry!

What a sweety!

Things can only get...

Better..croak!

Soooo I think things will get better from now on.

I took a big nose dive late last week. I am not sure what I did wrong, I felt that I was managing it pretty well but by Saturday I couldn't drink anymore. Funnily I eat could toast with banana but the sick was sore coming up as the toast was sharp.

Sunday was the same, no drink would stay down however small the sips. It was also the day when Bug was away for 5 nights in Banff at a conference. He has been doing everything so to be without the Bugster was going to be scary!

I knew on Sunday that I had to go back to the hospital but I also knew that Bug would cancel his conference if I did that so I waited until Monday to go. Big mistake! that night I was sick for hours, blood and bile so by the time i got into bed for a sleep I was seriously worried that I might not wake up.

Not kidding but I was that worried. Why did I not call an ambulance? I have no idea.

I went to the hospital at noon the next day and weighed 2 k less than just the other day. I also had not been able to wee since sunday morning. I passed out in my seat in the waiting room and got taken through quickly (also a relief as there were people complaining of flu!).

The nurse has a look a me and said

"soo...you are 4 weeks pregnant... "

"No, I am 4 months, with twins'

"oh..hmm"

I couldn't wee still and the nurse took some blood...only no blood would come out either! some filled about 1/2cm of a vial and they were pumping my arms and squeezing it downwards with their hands but no more came out.

What they did have was a nice red though!

Anyway I had a load of IVs HEATED up this time. the nurse man looking after me was a real gem. He was so interesting and also interested in people. I could hear him asking real questions to patients that meant he was also listening to their replies. I hope that he knows how good he is. I had some more zofran too. I coudln't leave until I could drink still water without vomiting.

Anyway after all of that my OBs has agreed for me to stay on zofran. I am 16 weeks now.

Things will get better on this drug - I have read enough about its effects.